MUM and Breast Cancer

Its 2 days away from what would have been my mums 51st birthday.  She was diagnosed with Breast Cancer when she was 40. Always a young looking, and hip mum, loved dancing to chart music, wasnt your regular older mum.  She was fab.  I come from as very close Irish family so when this happened it totally devastated us. I was 20, my sister 17 and my brother was 8.  How could this happen????It happens to other families not ours.  2 weeks after finding out about the cancer I found out I was pregnant with my 1st child.  What should have been the happiest time of my life was filled with such tears and sorrow. I remember telling my mum and even though the news of the cancer was there her smile was so wide and genuinely happy.  Whether that was to comfort me Ill never know.

Mum died in the May and I went onto have my 1st baby Chloe on 2nd October.  To this day, the major life happening event of losing my mum effected me from that moment, to this day and always will.  I think of her all the time and am always asking the “What ifs”????  Ive got so much, 5 lovely children, a fabulous partner who looks after me and the children and a nice house…….but it simply isnt enough….at the age of 31 ….I still just want my mum.  Whether Im being nieve, silly or hormonal….I cant accept that my gorgeous mum passed away.  Going through everything I have gone through with the children and this condition they have I know I can go through ANYTHING.  Ive got over some very very dark times due to the depression I was diagnosed with.  Just want to see her or just hear her voice. Happy birthday my gorgeous mum.  Heaven has gained an Angel x x x